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Country of Destination: Up Your Ass - The Mad Schemes of Dr. Tectonic [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Beemer

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Country of Destination: Up Your Ass [Feb. 18th, 2011|12:10 pm]
Beemer
I am returning some hard drives back to the person who sent them* to me, and because the destination is outside the U.S., I have to fill out export control paperwork.

*Well, the data on them is what was actually being sent. The hard drives themselves were kind of incidental.

This irritates me all out of proportion to the inconvenience it imposes.

I think the reason it annoys me so much is that, given that what I'm doing is returning a completely mundane piece of off-the-shelf computer hardware to its original owner, the paperwork seems just willfully stupid:

"What other technology/equipment will be used in conjunction with this item?"

I dunno, a computer, probably?

"Will the technology be shared, sent or re-exported to anywhere with anyone else?"

Well, given that it's a piece of commodity electronics... I dunno, maybe? Depends on whether the owner decides to send it to his brother who's at university in France, I suppose. I really have no idea. Also, your grammar sux.

"What is the Country of Origin of each piece?"

Well, I presume that it was purchased in the UK. But the manufacturer is American. Oh, and there's a sticker on the antistatic sleeve saying it was made in Thailand. Wait, does the fact that you've capitalized Country of Origin mean that this is a technical term with some special meaning? I DON'T KNOW!

"If exporting computer hardware, provide the following information:
APP (Adjusted Peak Performance): check one
___ ≤ 0.75 Weighted Teraflops
___ ≥ 0.75 Weighted Teraflops"


...

Seriously? Seriously? IT. IS. A. HARD DRIVE.

Fine. I guess "none whatsoever" is less than 0.75. (And now I wonder what you do if the APP is 0.75 exactly...)

ARGH!

It's just-- I mean, I get that is is reasonable to restrict the export of things that might have military applications, and that there needs to be an auditable paper trail in case somebody breaks the rules. But can't we just have a ticky-box on the first page that says "Yes, I have read the regulations, and really, honestly, it is totally obvious that all the questions on the following 3 pages are Not Applicable, so that's why they've all been left blank"?
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: goddessdster
2011-02-18 07:17 pm (UTC)
Also, your grammar sux.

That's what you should have put. Repeatedly.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dpolicar
2011-02-18 07:42 pm (UTC)
Clearly, if it's .75 exactly, you check both.

I'm now idly tempted to go around labeling computer hardware around the office with

APP (Adjusted Peak Performance): check one
___ ≤ 0.75 Weighted Teraflops
___ ≥ 0.75 Weighted Teraflops
_X_ NONE WHATSOEVER
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dcseain
2011-02-18 07:50 pm (UTC)
For export purposes, Country of Origin is a technical term with special meaning, and would be United States in your case.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: annlarimer
2011-02-18 08:02 pm (UTC)
The fuck is a teraflop? Is it some kind of Beanie dinosaur?

Put a Furby in the package.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: zalena
2011-02-19 12:44 am (UTC)
So you just described my job. Now imagine trying to get people to fill out these forms 10 hours a day along with other irritating tasks.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: danthered
2011-02-19 07:21 am (UTC)
u must be one of them tairists I heare'd about on FOX NEWS. why do u hate freedome.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: musikub
2011-02-20 01:47 am (UTC)
We have to do daily compliance checks on companies before we can ship hardware to confirm they haven't been listed as having supported any terrorist organizations. It's a serious pain in the ass when we deal with literally thousands of different companies around the continent.
(Reply) (Thread)