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birthday games tai chi APPLE WHAT - The Mad Schemes of Dr. Tectonic [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Beemer

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birthday games tai chi APPLE WHAT [Apr. 30th, 2013|11:40 pm]
Beemer
So I was all set to post about doing tai chi this afternoon for the first time in years, and about people coming over on Sunday for games for my birthday but I can't because we just watched The Apple and now my mind is completely exploded into a million pieces.

WHAT DID I JUST WATCH.

Seriously, you have GOT to watch this movie. It is incredibly, amazingly, awesomely, delightfully bad.

It's... okay, was made in 1980, and it's a disco musical about music set in 1994, with the most spandex shoulder-pad eye-makeup beard-glitter costumes you have ever seen. I think this movie may have pulled forth Nirvana and the entire grunge movement from the void into reality just to balance out the cosmos. Every prop in the movie and most of the actor havse hologram stickers all over them. It has a number set in Hell, and Hell is filled with jazz hands. I can't even.

And the most amazing thing about it may be that it was competently made. This is not one of those MST3K movies where half the awfulness is the low quality. No, somebody -- probably a lot of somebodies -- put a lot of time and effort and money (and drugs, sez Monkey) into making this movie look and sound and develop exactly the way that it does; it's not an accident, it's intentional. Somebody wanted that. Whatever crazy things you see on the screen, somebody worked to make it that way!

Netflix asked me to rate it when we were done watching, and I was just incapable. On a scale of 1 to 5, it's like +90 and minus infinity at the same time.

But I can definitely recommend it to you. Wow.

(For the record, games Sunday was great and it was lovely to see everyone, especially folks we don't see often, and we had a finished with a fantastically wicked game of Cards Against Humanity. And Jerry made lotsa Japanese food for everyone cos he is awesome and yay great birthday thank you all for coming yay!)
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: dendren
2013-05-01 03:05 pm (UTC)
you had me at "was made in 1980, and it's a disco musical about music set in 1994"

sounds awesome. How have I never heard of it before.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2013-05-02 04:39 pm (UTC)
It is amazing. Terrible, but amazing nonetheless.
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[User Picture]From: bryree
2013-05-01 03:43 pm (UTC)
Apropos to :"This is not one of those MST3K movies where half the awfulness is the low quality." is :"On April 17, 2013, the film was released as a video on demand from RiffTrax." (Wikipedia entry)
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[User Picture]From: tbass
2013-05-01 05:34 pm (UTC)
They showed The Apple at a gay movies in the park thing last year in Seattle. I don't remember what the theme was but they also showed Labyrinth.
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[User Picture]From: snowninja7
2013-05-02 03:36 am (UTC)
This reminds me: we just watched Purple Rain. Very... 1984, is all I can say.
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[User Picture]From: castleclear
2013-05-03 12:38 am (UTC)
(Belated) HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Beemer!!!!!! Congrats on getting back into tai chi and thank you for your movie review of THE APPLE. Yes, it does sound awful in just the way I'd most enjoy!
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[User Picture]From: goddessdster
2013-05-03 01:27 am (UTC)
Sounds like the perfect choice for bad movie night. What accompanying snacks would you suggest?
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2013-05-06 10:14 pm (UTC)
Hmm...

Apples, of course.

Kool-aid served in triangular glassware.

Massive amounts of cheese. Or even better, Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food Products.

And if you really want to be thematic, speed for the first part of the movie, replaced by joints soaked in patchouli oil for the last 20 minutes...
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