November 29th, 2006


3 Ways To Be Late

Three ways to be late, courtesy of yesterday and today.

1) Just as you're about to leave the house, have the elastic drawstring on your parka catch on your backpack as you're picking things up, then pop free and smack you in the eye, knocking the contact lens out of your eye and causing the surprisingly aerodynamic little bugger to vanish completely. Wake up one boyfriend and lose 20 minutes helping him look for it before you give up and wear your glasses instead. Miss most of meeting with boss and visiting scientist that was tentatively planned for the afternoon but dynamically rescheduled for morning, but make up for it later in the day. Be thankful that eye was not injured, and extremely thankful when other boyfriend calls a couple hours later to tell you he found the missing contact in the kitchen.

2) Since you got in late, stay late at work. Note that it's snowing, but not too badly, when leaving about an hour later than you usually do. Assume, incorrectly, this means that extra traffic due to snow will have had time to clear out. Bail off of the main highway when you approach the main onramp and see that it's backed up all the way. Take the back way instead. Spend 45 minutes in first gear driving two and a half miles along a perfectly straight piece of road and up a short hill without ever needing to touch the accelerator. Finally get home an hour and a half after you left work. Be appreciative because the snow is pretty and dinner is waiting for you.

3) Be clever enough to remember to bring snow brush and scraper in the house and to clean off the car while breakfast is cooking. Leave home super-early so as to have time to drop boyfriend off at college, drop car off at dealer for maintenance, and still get to work in time for morning meeting. Even have the forethought to send email to other meeting attendees saying that you might be late because of the roads. Drive, slowly, to Boulder. Alternate between being overheated from defroster and having windshield ice over. Conclude that there's no way you'll make it to the dealer in time for your appointment and have boyfriend call on cellphone to cancel. Drop boyfriend off. Drive on excitingly friction-decreased streets to north end of town, then east to work. Get to work about five minutes before meeting. Feel somewhat smug about deciding not to try and drop car off, since you would currently probably be stuck in the waiting room at the dealer's debating whether to keep waiting for the shuttle to come back and take you to the office or to just give up and hike the half-mile through the snow. Get to office in time for meeting. Decide to still count it as a way to be late in a blog post, even though you avoided it.

Despite numerous excuses to be grumpy, I'm actually pretty content. It's cold, very snowy, and overcast. I'm probably going to head home soon and just telecommute tomorrow to avoid dealing with the terrible traffic again. And I think I'll go take pictures of icicles while I wait for this program to finish compiling.


So one of the radio stations occasionally uses this quote. It's very cool, but I have no idea what the original context is. Does anyone know who it is, and where the quote comes from? The world-google-intarbrain avails me naught.

"It's like the Olympics plus the World Series plus the birth of your first child all multiplied by X, where X equals awesome"