October 26th, 2008

ever so slightly mad

Conversations With My Brain, Part II

In the shower. ME is thinking about writing.

ME: I should really settle on a name for that character.

BRAIN: Hmm. Norbert, Wilfred, Henry, Bernard...

(BRAIN ponders BrE vs AmE pronunciations of "Bernard")

BRAIN: BER-nard, Ber-NARD. BER-nard, Ber-NARD.

BRAIN: ...!


ME: Oh, Jesus. What now?

BRAIN: BER-nard, Ber-NARD! Manny Bianco, Miss Bianca!

ME: ...

BRAIN: The Rescuers cross Black Books! It's a perfect match!


BRAIN: Dylan Moran is a hapless but lovable mistanthropist—no, mismusopist bookstore owner mouse! Bill Bailey is his wealthy, glamorous, hapless bookstore assistant mouse! They rescue small children and drink heavily!

ME: *facepalm* Seriously, what is wrong with you?

BRAIN: I'm quite mad. I thought we established this already. Anyway, drunken mice! It's brilliant!

ME: You're just not going to let this go, are you?

BRAIN: Oh, hell no. We're going be thinking about this for hours.

ME: I hate you so much.

BRAIN: Who would Fran be? What was the name of the albatross? WAIT! There was a cat! In the salt mines book! Fran Katzenjammer! IT ALL FITS!

ME: Oh my god SHUT UP.

BRAIN: You should write a story about it!

ME: NO. I'm busy!

BRAIN pouts

ME: God. If people had any idea what I put up with from you...

BRAIN: ...

ME: ...