June 28th, 2010

Mister Cranky-pants

Dear brain: quit it

I hate having the day get off to a lousy start because of upsetting dreams.

(E.g., yelling arguments with imaginary co-workers, vehicles that won't stop, cats jumping out windows of vehicles that won't stop, yelling at my mom because the vehicle won't stop and then it turns out it won't stop even when the engine is forcibly shut off, jumping out of moving vehicles, and then getting into yelling arguments with creepy cults of little girls who think that you can divide recently found cats into good and evil based on their fur color. Bah!)
commanding the minions

I'm not lazy, I'm efficient

7:45 am: Minion sends email requesting time off for some family stuff.

8:30 am: I read email, contemplate response, decide to hold off on actually composing & sending response until later, when I am deailing with my inbox in a big batch.

9:02 am: Minion sends follow-up email saying "never mind!"

This is why I'm lazy: because it's not actually laziness, it's pre-emptive efficiency.