November 5th, 2012

mice-spiders

Hello, My Name Is Norm

I am quite fond of elephant jokes.

I'm a fan of absurdist humor in general, but elephant jokes have a special place in my heart funny bone. I have a little book of them that I've had since I was a kid, and back in the day, I had a file with a whole bunch of elephant jokes in it, and a separate file with all the punchlines, and whenever I sent an email, I had a little program that would select a random joke, and then select a separate random punchline, and add them to my message as a signature.

A proper elephant joke takes the form of a question and answer, viz:
Why do elephants eat peanuts?
Because they are saltier than prunes.

Often they come in sequence, with a kind of internal logic and structure.
How many elephants are there on a Nurndy team?
Eleven. Two borks, six forwards, two wopplers, and a goalie.

Why are elephants so much better at Nurndy than humans?
Because they wopple better.


So.

As I have mentioned elsewhere, I dyed my hair purple a week ago. It was starting to fade, so I recolored it yesterday, and it looks pretty good. I also managed to get some decent pictures of it today.

Which means I can finally share with you my Halloween costume.

But in order to do so, I will have to tell you a few jokes, because the costume is conceptual in nature.

Thus:

Why are elephants colored gray?
[Answer]So you can tell them from canaries.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
[Answer]"Here come the elephants over the hill."

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing dark glasses?
[Answer]Nothing, he didn't recognize them.

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape?
[Answer]Grapes are purple.

What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill?
[Answer]"Ooo, look at all those grapes!" (She was colorblind.)

How do you tell an elephant from a grape if you're colorblind?
[Answer]Jump around on it for a while. If you don't get any wine, it's an elephant.

This is my Halloween costume. What am I?
[Click for purple hair!]
[Answer]I'm an elephant... in disguise!

How can you tell?
[Answer]Because I look nothing whatsoever like an elephant!