Beemer (dr_tectonic) wrote,
Beemer
dr_tectonic

To the rescue

So Pete (quirkstreet) posted this morning asking "What's your user-support superhero name?", and I responded that mine was Professor Amazing, because much like Dr. Strange or Mister Fantastic, being the technical guy in the non-technical division, the people I help generally have no clue what I just did or why it works, they're just amazed (and delighted) that it happened.

Funnily enough, I got to play hero this afternoon.

BELEAGUERED COLLEAGUE: Do you remember that graph you made for me a while back? The one with the three curves overlaid for Region A?

PROF. AMAZING: Um...

(PA consults his offline memory augmentation system (aka computer files) because he is incapable of actually remembering anything)

PA: Yes!

BC: Evil Baron Muckity-Muck roped me into giving a talk in Region B next Monday.

(Note: our department is moving, and we're being kicked out of our offices on Wednesday while they move our stuff. Also, The Vision Document of Doom is currently in process. And we have to do our annual reviews. And the Baneful Annual Report has to be done very soon, as well. And BC really ought to do some, y'know, research somewhere in there, too.)

BC: I don't really have anything specific to show them. Would you happen to have data for Region B?

PA: Actually, I did just run a data analysis of a similar region for Other Colleague. I could definitely make another one of those graphs for you.

BC: Wow, that would be great.

(PA thinks)

PA: You know, it doesn't take me long to run it at all. It's just computer time. What's your region look like? We could do a custom analysis for you.

BC: Really?

PA: Totally!

(They figure out the details.)

PA: So when do you need it by?

BC: Well, the talk is next Monday. Since we won't have access to our computers after noon on Wednesday, let me give you an alternate email address.

PA: Cool.

(BC leaves. PA chants mystic incantations at the computer then leaves things to run. Time passes.)

PA: (Checks computer, then looks around office.) Okay, this is WAY more interesting than packing my office into boxes.

(There is more arcane and esoteric computer twaddling. Time continues to pass. 6 pm rolls around. PA emails BC)

PA: That thing you needed by the weekend? All done!

BC: Amazing!

PA: W00t!

(Cheering, triumphant music, divers alarums. THE END)

That's the part of my job that I really like.
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