Beemer (dr_tectonic) wrote,


The night before last Jerry warned me that he was about to watch a terrible movie, and popped Dragon Wars: D-War into the DVD player. (Yes, that's really what it's called. Because apparently one title just wasn't enough and they needed two.)

Now, let's be clear: this is not a good movie. But on the other hand, neither it is an awful movie. It's certainly nowhere near as bad as his coworkers claimed. They all said that it was so bad none of them could get through more than a half-hour of it, and of course, my schweetie takes this as a challenge, because that's the kind of monkey he is, and because he enjoys laughing at bad movies.

So again, it wasn't good. But it was perfectly adequate, and it definitely had its moments. There was a lot of well-done CGI, and a few little bits that were seriously funny. It may be that you need the context of the previous 40 minutes to fully appreciate it, but one scene had us howling with laughter.

Fortunately, someone has put the whole damn movie up on YouTube in 10-minute increment, so I can share it with you. It's roughly the first two minutes of this video:

(Later on someone asks "What happened to [the black guy's character]?" and the main character answers "Oh, I'm sure he's fine.")

And unlike the truly hideously awful Dungeons and Dragons movie, D-War didn't bore me. It may have been stupid, but at least it wasn't dull. During the big fight between the dragons and the helicopters, did we get sentimental music and "oh, no, they're all dying" schmaltz? No we did not. We got fleeing pedestrians and exploding buses. Which is MUCH better.

In fact, I think my primary complaint was the lack of cursing. Far too many characters reacted with disbelief or indifference to El Snake-O Gigantico, rather than screaming "Holy f*ck! It's a giant f*cking snake! Sweet Zombie Jesus, RUN FOR IT!"...

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