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Beemer

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A Bibliophilic Dilemma [Jul. 31st, 2008|10:22 pm]
Beemer
I have a dilemma.

Whilst walking about the Comic-Con exhibition floor, I inadvertently wandered too close to someone handing out schwag. "Have a bag!" she said, and I took it, because bags are handy.

"And a book!" she said. And, well, it was a book. And it was free. So I took it.

This evening, I finished unpacking the suitcase, and I actually looked at the book.

It, uh. It really doesn't look good.

It's "A Dark-Hunter Novel". The inside back cover has a drawing of a shirtless man with leather clothing and very long hair blowing in the wind. I believe the main character is named "Valierius". The back cover copy contains the sentence "Idiosyncratic and off-beat, she is my personal bane -- and yet she beguiles me." Random page-flipping suggests that there are a lot of not-very-erotic sex scenes. And people being coolly arrogant.

It appears to be published badfic.

The question is: What do I do with this book?

I can't just chuck it in the trash, because it's a book, and destroying books is Just Wrong. Even bad books. But I don't want it. And I can't think of anyone I'd want to inflict it on.

What do I do? Help!
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: tdjohnsn
2008-08-01 04:39 am (UTC)
Wrap it up and save it for a white elephant gift exchange!
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[User Picture]From: lostncove
2008-08-01 04:40 am (UTC)
OMG. Send it to me. I love that kinda stuff. I will turn it into comedy somehow.

319 Woodmere Ave SE #2
Grand Rapids MI 49506
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2008-08-01 01:20 pm (UTC)
Watch your mailbox!
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[User Picture]From: bryree
2008-08-01 05:10 am (UTC)
I was going to say "Destroy it! For the love of all that is marginally right, even if not holy!" But it seems others are willing to take the bullet for you, so who am I to say?

See you tomorrow.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2008-08-01 01:21 pm (UTC)
But I can't. I'm constitutionally incapable, because Destroying Books Is Wrong. Even bad books.
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[User Picture]From: backrubbear
2008-08-01 11:53 pm (UTC)
You have failed to grasp that this thing was Not A Book. Instead, it was an attempt to imbue True Gothic (in the Hot Topic Sense) stupidity in a talisman of dead tree.

One must understand that your only sane choices are to destroy it, thus rendering it powerless or giving it to a greater power than yourself to be the Custodian of Stupid.
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[User Picture]From: inmc
2008-08-01 05:42 am (UTC)
donate to a library?

leave it in a random location and let fate decide who gets it?
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[User Picture]From: helava
2008-08-01 06:24 am (UTC)
If you really want to crush their spirit, mail them the book and a link to this post. It'll fuel their continued angst for years to come!
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[User Picture]From: thatwesguy
2008-08-01 07:31 am (UTC)
If you didn't have a taker, I'd say throw it away.

Or use it as kindling. Ooh, subversive.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2008-08-01 01:22 pm (UTC)
Logically, that would be a sensible thing to do, but I just can't do that to a book. Thank god for Randy!
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[User Picture]From: dcseain
2008-08-01 10:26 am (UTC)
Meh. Toss it, less someone wants it.
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[User Picture]From: sunsmogseahorse
2008-08-01 11:04 am (UTC)
Recycle it. It's not like you're going to read it, nor will anyone else. Save a tree by returning it to the pulp pool. That's a good middle ground.
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[User Picture]From: derbiser
2008-08-01 11:40 am (UTC)
Recycle it. Turn it into art or something else fun. Drop it off on your local library's paperback exchange rack. (If it is that bad, your library really doesn't want it either...but someone might pick it up off of the exchange rack).
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[User Picture]From: zalena
2008-08-01 12:18 pm (UTC)
Book mooch.com - I have exchanged over 32 books otherwise untradeable.
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[User Picture]From: lostncove
2008-08-01 04:59 pm (UTC)
Thank you for this tip!
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[User Picture]From: ocschwar
2008-08-01 01:16 pm (UTC)
Dude, it's 2008. If it would be Just Wrong to read it, to give it to a friend and suggest he read it, then it is not wrong to just chuck it.

Once civilization declines to make every book precious again, then it will be Just Wrong to destroy books, unless they're the Gor novels and they threaten to become the Classics of the next rennaisance.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2008-08-01 01:27 pm (UTC)
What you say makes perfect sense, but nevertheless: can't do it.
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[User Picture]From: ocschwar
2008-08-01 01:41 pm (UTC)
Well, I suppose books are a good way to arrange some carbon capture...
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[User Picture]From: k8cre8
2008-08-01 01:37 pm (UTC)
You could just leave it somewhere. Like Common Grounds.
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[User Picture]From: grunter
2008-08-01 02:27 pm (UTC)
eBay it. And use the magic phrase: Comic-Con Exclusive.
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[User Picture]From: annlarimer
2008-08-01 02:56 pm (UTC)
Bad books get re-sold on Amazon, or, if there's no market, freecycled on the break room table. I've seen near-coverless Harlequins and Godawful Christian novels disappear instantly.
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[User Picture]From: ng_nighthawk
2008-08-01 03:33 pm (UTC)
You don't need this advise, but you can give it to a thrift store. They can make a quarter for whatever cause and someone who would truly like the book gets it.
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[User Picture]From: srotu27
2008-08-01 03:54 pm (UTC)
I second this one--- donate it. You never know what will appeal to someone.
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[User Picture]From: eto_theipi
2008-08-01 03:54 pm (UTC)
Here in SF, I just leave books I don't want on the sidewalk with a note that says "Free" and they're gone within an hour.

I used to believe that one Shoudn't Destroy Books.

Then I picked up one of the "new" Dune books at a book swap in Mexico. It wasn't just bad, it was wrong. It deliberately tarnished one of the best SF novels ever written. The authors actually thanked their typist in the foreword, without whom their dictated ramblings couldn't have been published so quickly.

Normally, I would just take a book I didn't like back to a book swap and change it out for something more to my taste. But this book was so wrong that I realized I couldn't allow it to fall into the hands of another reader, especially not a reader in a foreign country, hungry for something to read in his or her native language.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2008-08-01 04:17 pm (UTC)
I don't think it's so much something I believe as something that's just hard-wired into my brain.

I've gotten to the point where I can recycle crappy magazines just for being crappy, but a book has to carry serious evil for me to be able to contemplate violence against it.
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[User Picture]From: sungriz
2008-08-01 08:36 pm (UTC)
here is the answer.. if you havent sent it on yet...

http://www.stolloween.com/?page_id=54
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From: detailbear
2008-08-02 03:25 am (UTC)
You realize that at some point in a parallel universe, you will be responsible for the downfall of civilization because you can't destroy the Book of Ultimate Evil when necessary, right? ;-)
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