ME: I should really settle on a name for that character.
BRAIN: Hmm. Norbert, Wilfred, Henry, Bernard...
(BRAIN ponders BrE vs AmE pronunciations of "Bernard")
BRAIN: BER-nard, Ber-NARD. BER-nard, Ber-NARD.
BRAIN: OH. EM. GEE!
ME: Oh, Jesus. What now?
BRAIN: BER-nard, Ber-NARD! Manny Bianco, Miss Bianca!
BRAIN: The Rescuers cross Black Books! It's a perfect match!
BRAIN: Dylan Moran is a hapless but lovable mistanthropist—no, mismusopist bookstore owner mouse! Bill Bailey is his wealthy, glamorous, hapless bookstore assistant mouse! They rescue small children and drink heavily!
ME: *facepalm* Seriously, what is wrong with you?
BRAIN: I'm quite mad. I thought we established this already. Anyway, drunken mice! It's brilliant!
ME: You're just not going to let this go, are you?
BRAIN: Oh, hell no. We're going be thinking about this for hours.
ME: I hate you so much.
BRAIN: Who would Fran be? What was the name of the albatross? WAIT! There was a cat! In the salt mines book! Fran Katzenjammer! IT ALL FITS!
ME: Oh my god SHUT UP.
BRAIN: You should write a story about it!
ME: NO. I'm busy!
ME: God. If people had any idea what I put up with from you...
Both: LIVEJOURNAL POST!