Beemer (dr_tectonic) wrote,
Beemer
dr_tectonic

WoW: OH GOD RUN AWAY

So Greg & Jerry have started playing World of Warcrack.

And I have been persuaded to give it a shot as well.

Now, there are two things to know about this game. First, there is a lot of running from place to place. A LOT of running. The game is as much about exploring the territory as it is about fighting the bajillions of monsters that inhabit the territory. And the second thing is that, due to the aforementioned bajillions of monsters, eventually You Will Die. And when your character dies, you reappear as a ghost in a nearby graveyard. You can either get raised from the dead there (for a small penalty), or you can do some more running to get back to your corpse and not have a penalty.

So now you can appreciate

Tale of Thargen, Brave Orcish Hunter

by Thargen, level 5

Thargen out for walk in low-level area, looking for scorpininidid thingy what Thargen need to kill for quest. Find secret path up mountains.

Secret path, how interesting! Thargen go up path.

Thargen go up path and over mountains and fall down out of home territory, into ocean what is beyond mountains.

Surprisingly, falling off mountain not kill Thargen, even though it very far. Hooray! No, instead, Thargen killed by subsequent attack of slimy crab monster, what kill him in two hits. Boo! Also, oy vey.

Thargen ghost appear in cemetery very far away from home, in place he never see before. Rather than take durability damage to lovely new armor what just given as gift by firend, Thargen run back to body and rez.

Thargen must get back to homeland. Start swimming toward coastline not bordered by ridonkulously impassable mountains.

Thargen promptly re-killed by same slimy crab monster.

Appear in cemetery. Ghost run to corpse. Rez. Swim halfway across bay. Get killed by slimy crab monster.

Appear in cemetery, ghost run to corpse, rez as far from corpse as possible, swim like mad. Make it to land, hooray!

Land is nowhere near home, boo. That okay. Thargen have map! Map say, go north, cross river, back in home territory, all okay. Thargen start running.

Run run run run ooo, hey, zebra-type thingy. Wait, it HOW many levels higher than Thargen? Boy, that really OH GOD CROCODILE! RUN!

Run run run run! Run. Whew. Pause. Okay, here look like place to cross. What that? Hmm, other dead orc. Wonder what OH GOD HYENA! RUN!

Swim across river oh no more crocodile run run run okay up the hill SCORPION! BIG ONES OH GOD RUN RUN Thargen dead of scorpion.

Ghost appear in home town, hooray! Run back to body. Okay. Ready? Rez and run! Run run run OH GOD MORE SCORPION! ZIG! ZAG! Buildings! It a village with defenders who will help OH NO THEY IS ENEMIES Thargen dead of arrow.

*sigh*

Ghost run back to corpse, find maximum distance REZ RUN RUN OH GOD THEY SHOOTING AT THARGEN KEEP RUNNING MUST AVOID GIANT SCORPIONS OH GOD WHAT THAT THING THARGEN NEVER EVEN SEE IT BEFORE, OH GOOD, IT ATTACKING TOO RUN RUN RUN RUN AAAAAAAAAAAH!


The question is, why is this so much fun?
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