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Also, I'm sending a Terminator back to take out Pope Gregory - The Mad Schemes of Dr. Tectonic [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Also, I'm sending a Terminator back to take out Pope Gregory [Dec. 8th, 2009|05:38 pm]
So if anyone has ever wondered what, as a mad scientist, my fiendish and dastardly plan to meddle in Things what man was Man was Not Meant To Meddle In is, it's this:

I'm going to embed gigantic freaking rockets in the ground and fire them so as to speed up the orbit of the Earth and make the year 365 days long EXACTLY, thus eliminating the need for freaking leap years and for me to ever have to deal with people screwing up their freaking time coordinates because they FORGOT TO ACCOUNT FOR THEM! *eye-twitch*

I'm considering going all the way to a 360-day year, which would let us regularlize the calendar to 12 30-day months, but then I'd also have to adjust the moon's orbit or I know it would just bug me that they didn't line up. Feel free to chime in if you feel strongly about this issue.

[User Picture]From: pink_halen
2009-12-09 01:00 am (UTC)
One plan called for 13 months of 28 days with a single day that isn't in a month which would be called Sol.

All the stupid numbers were because those silly Romans like Augustus and Julio wanted more days in their months. But if they had not done that we wouldn't have that sweet rhyme of "Thirty days has September, April, June and November."
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2009-12-09 04:53 am (UTC)
The irregularities of the standard calendar are not without their charm. It's mostly the fact that the various celestial cycles aren't neat integer multiples of one another that's irritating.

And I do like the rhyme.

Thirty days hath September
April, June, and November.
All the rest have thirty-one --
But February, which hath twenty-eight,
and Quintember, which hath none.
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[User Picture]From: flwyd
2009-12-10 08:33 am (UTC)
the various celestial cycles aren't neat integer multiples of one another that's irritating.

Aha! Proof against Intelligent Design!
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[User Picture]From: pink_halen
2009-12-15 06:35 pm (UTC)
Perhaps the good doctor could just take over as Caesar then would could celebrate the month of Tecton.
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[User Picture]From: melted_snowball
2009-12-09 01:06 am (UTC)
So, I find myself struck that you're complaining about leap years, and I'm about to make a post about South Pacific.

Yeah. I love this world, you know?
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[User Picture]From: dpolicar
2009-12-09 01:27 am (UTC)
You could eliminate the moon altogether.
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[User Picture]From: goobermunch
2009-12-09 02:51 am (UTC)
But then where would he sign his work when he's sped up the earth?

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[User Picture]From: annlarimer
2009-12-10 05:00 am (UTC)
Nonono, we need that to run the ocean.

Also it's got a little bunny on it.
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[User Picture]From: zalena
2009-12-09 01:52 am (UTC)
Hell, I cant even get people to coordinate across timezones. This is way too technical for my needs.
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From: detailbear
2009-12-09 03:20 am (UTC)
Abandon it entirely.

Just start counting Julian Days. 2009.06.18 was Julian Day 55000 (MJD). Start counting 10-days from then. Ten 10-days will be your "year". Jan. 4 will be 55200. April 14 will be 55300. Problem solved.

(You might instead want to use the Excel date of Jan. 1, 1900 as day 1, if you want to make life easier for the masses.)
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2009-12-09 04:45 am (UTC)

No rockets? Never!

Nonono. That's a dastardly scheme for a Mad Accountant, not a Mad Scientist.
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From: detailbear
2009-12-09 05:47 pm (UTC)

Re: No rockets? Never!

Okay. But don't forget to calculate the change in the length of day and month for changes in the rotational period of the earth and the angular momentum in the Earth-Moon system.

Hmmm. I need a Mad Accountant name. And icon.

Edited at 2009-12-10 04:54 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: goddessdster
2009-12-09 03:54 am (UTC)
I forget to account for leap years, but then I remember they are usually election years. And one of my friends was born on February 29th. So there's tha...

OMG, if your plan works my friend will never be born. You are evil, Senor, evil personified.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2009-12-09 04:46 am (UTC)
No, no. It's not retroactive. Your friend will just stop having birthdays, and hence will not age.
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[User Picture]From: kung_fu_monkey
2009-12-09 09:15 am (UTC)
Hon? You need a vacation. Seriously.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2009-12-09 11:36 pm (UTC)
Yes. Yes I do.

16 days!
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[User Picture]From: drdeleto
2009-12-09 04:14 pm (UTC)
You had me at "gigantic freaking rockets."

I would like to point out that the real brains behind the Gregorian Calendar was a man named Christopher Clavius...

...which is a pretty damned fine mad scientist name, if you ask me, certainly by 16th C standards. If he could have imagined gigantic freaking rockets, perhaps we would already live in a calendrical utopia. He was, after all, a Jesuit, who have never been known for their lack of ambition.
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[User Picture]From: lovecarnievan
2009-12-09 05:35 pm (UTC)
I'm game, but only if we can have Pluto back.
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[User Picture]From: annlarimer
2009-12-10 05:10 am (UTC)
If the field test works, we can have Pluto as our new Luna Beta.
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