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Mopey emo poem is mopey and emo - The Mad Schemes of Dr. Tectonic [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Beemer

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Mopey emo poem is mopey and emo [Jan. 5th, 2010|05:53 pm]
Beemer
Attn Mgmt

I would like to report
some bugs
in the current version
of the universe:

The day is too short
and time runs too fast

The world is too small to hold us
but there's still too much of it

Winter is too cold
entropy too strong
and the stars are too far away

You can't hold hands
electronically

It's hard to write good poetry
when happy and content

and sometimes words
are not enough



These issues need to be addressed
as urgently as possible,
but definitely before
the next major release

By Tuesday
would be
even
better
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: dcseain
2010-01-06 01:17 am (UTC)
:D

Dear User,

Thank you for contact.
Alas, length of day and time
are features, as intended.

Winter need not be
too cold, if only you would
move further South.

Holding hands as you
will see can be corrected
with knowledge in time.

Entropy is and it
yet shall be. The stars, they are
where they need to be.

Glad your are content.
Next release is due out far
in the future. Good day.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2010-01-06 06:27 pm (UTC)
This works in a number of different tones. Well-done!

(And I'm glad you liked it enough to reply. :)
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[User Picture]From: bats22
2010-01-06 01:35 am (UTC)
Ooh... are you going to Robbie Burns this weekend? If not, do you mind if I do it ("A poem from Beemer") as my reading? I thought it would be appreciated.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2010-01-06 01:52 am (UTC)
I am not, and I would be honored!

(Official title is "Attn Mgmt".)
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[User Picture]From: bats22
2010-01-06 02:10 am (UTC)
Yay!
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[User Picture]From: sunsmogseahorse
2010-01-06 02:42 am (UTC)
That is my favorite poem read in the last ten years. Seriously.

And I read poetry.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2010-01-06 03:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much, Ted.
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[User Picture]From: tdjohnsn
2010-01-06 03:07 am (UTC)
That was lovely.

Thank you.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2010-01-06 03:18 pm (UTC)
You are welcome. And thank YOU.
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[User Picture]From: shakenstatic
2010-01-06 04:24 am (UTC)
One of the greatest things I've ever read. And I echo this a million fold:

You can't hold hands
electronically

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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2010-01-06 03:18 pm (UTC)
Thank you. Very much!
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[User Picture]From: zalena
2010-01-06 05:11 am (UTC)
Beemer, you know I am a big fan of your poetry. Huzzah! You didn't even have to brutalize November to make it work. Where are you on the countdown?

I think you should shorten it into a haiku, or into a series of haiku in honor of your upcoming trip.

Also, I think it needs a turn around, see the last couplet in Sonnet 29 for the kind of thing I mean:

For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.


But far be it from me to change a word of mopey or emo, especially when I've been such a sad sap, myself.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2010-01-06 03:26 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Sarah. Eleven days!

I know what you mean about a turn, and kind of had one in mind while I was composing, but the rest of the poem had too much momentum, so I ended up with just a... a side-step, instead.
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From: chaosqueen42
2010-01-06 02:07 pm (UTC)
Awesome awesome. Thank you Dr T and scseain.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2010-01-06 03:26 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Glad you like it.

Edited at 2010-01-06 03:27 pm (UTC)
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[User Picture]From: annlarimer
2010-01-06 06:00 pm (UTC)
Dear Valued Customer:

Your feedback is important to us. Although we cannot respond to every comment personally, please be assured we do read each and every one.

The Universe's large user base means that it is not always possible to is he still reading? Man, I hate this job. It's worse than when I worked for Microsoft. Fuck it, I'm getting coffee.

Sincerely,

The Universe
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2010-01-06 06:28 pm (UTC)
*snerk*
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[User Picture]From: goddessdster
2010-01-07 04:14 am (UTC)
I have no words for this awesome.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2010-01-07 04:49 am (UTC)
:)
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[User Picture]From: danthered
2010-11-15 03:57 pm (UTC)
*Belated-but-no-less-thundrous applause*
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