|Mopey emo poem is mopey and emo
||[Jan. 5th, 2010|05:53 pm]
I would like to report
in the current version
of the universe:
The day is too short
and time runs too fast
The world is too small to hold us
but there's still too much of it
Winter is too cold
entropy too strong
and the stars are too far away
You can't hold hands
It's hard to write good poetry
when happy and content
and sometimes words
are not enough
These issues need to be addressed
as urgently as possible,
but definitely before
the next major release
Thank you for contact.
Alas, length of day and time
are features, as intended.
Winter need not be
too cold, if only you would
move further South.
Holding hands as you
will see can be corrected
with knowledge in time.
Entropy is and it
yet shall be. The stars, they are
where they need to be.
Glad your are content.
Next release is due out far
in the future. Good day.
This works in a number of different tones. Well-done!
(And I'm glad you liked it enough to reply. :)
Ooh... are you going to Robbie Burns this weekend? If not, do you mind if I do it ("A poem from Beemer") as my reading? I thought it would be appreciated.
I am not, and I would be honored!
(Official title is "Attn Mgmt".)
That is my favorite poem read in the last ten years. Seriously.
And I read poetry.
Thank you very much, Ted.
That was lovely.
You are welcome. And thank YOU.
One of the greatest things I've ever read. And I echo this a million fold:
You can't hold hands
Beemer, you know I am a big fan of your poetry. Huzzah! You didn't even have to brutalize November to make it work. Where are you on the countdown?
I think you should shorten it into a haiku, or into a series of haiku in honor of your upcoming trip.
Also, I think it needs a turn around, see the last couplet in Sonnet 29
for the kind of thing I mean:For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.
But far be it from me to change a word of mopey or emo, especially when I've been such a sad sap, myself.
Thanks, Sarah. Eleven days!
I know what you mean about a turn, and kind of had one in mind while I was composing, but the rest of the poem had too much momentum, so I ended up with just a... a side-step, instead.
Awesome awesome. Thank you Dr T and scseain.
Thanks! Glad you like it.
Edited at 2010-01-06 03:27 pm (UTC)
Dear Valued Customer:
Your feedback is important to us. Although we cannot respond to every comment personally, please be assured we do read each and every one.
The Universe's large user base means that it is not always possible to is he still reading? Man, I hate this job. It's worse than when I worked for Microsoft. Fuck it, I'm getting coffee.
I have no words for this awesome.