See, I get these nasty uber-thick calluses on my feet, especially on the heels. When they get too thick they crack and then bleed, and it's just nasty and unhealthy. So I decided to try going to the nail salon over in the little mini-mallette across the street to see if they could fix it.
Wow. Being a boy, this was a mysterious and alien experience for me.
First off, you sit in this big comfy relaxo-chair with built-in vibro-massager and dangle your feet in a mini-whirlpool tub to soften everything up for about fifteen minutes. Then the nice Asian* lady attacks your cuticles with a pair of wire clippers.
(*Aside: It seems that, at least here in Colorado, the entire cosmetology industry has been taken over by women of southeast asian origin. I don't have anything against that -- they seem to be very good at it -- it's just a noticeable anomaly from the usual mostly-anglo-some-hispanic mix of workers you encounter on a day-to-day basis. The last time I got my hair cut by an anglo lady, I actually thought momentarily "Wait, is that allowed?" because it was so outside my usual experience...)
It all starts to get a little hazy after that; I blame the strange solvents that were wafting about the atmosphere. I do remember that there were definitely unguents involved. Possibly salves as well.
She took care of the calluses with this tool that was sort of like a miniature cheese slicer. There was a lot of professional scowling at my feet. I felt sort of like a block of wood being assessed by a sculptor. She also put some serious elbow grease into sanding everything down with a scrubby sponge near the end.
It was neat. Relaxing and giving a definite sense of pampering. My toenails are non-scraggly, and I think I have a normal amount of callus on my feet for once. And it was only 25 bucks! I will probably do it again sometime; for me, this may become one of the personal maintenance tasks (like haircuts) that is best left to professionals...