Beemer (dr_tectonic) wrote,
Beemer
dr_tectonic

Independence Day

David V. is moving out.

More than two years ago (sometime in the spring of '18, IIRC) he called us to ask if he could stay in our guest room "for a week or two," which has turned into, well, two-plus years.

We have been trading a little light housekeeping for room, board, and a bit of spending money. More as a way to try to inject some dignity into the situation than because we were pining for help with the chores, but we tried to keep the exchange rate fair.

It was suitable for a good while, but we cannot afford to continue supporting him, so at the beginning of May we let him know it was time to start looking for a new living situation. He hasn't really found one, but we just... can't keep doing this. So.

I'm disappointed and embarrassed to be confronted with the fact that my charity is not boundless and unlimited. I really want to be the kind of person who is able to keep saying "oh, it's fine, we've got you covered" indefinitely, and I'm sorry that we can't do that.

I am angry that our society doesn't have a better safety net. He should have better options available, and it makes me livid that people who think gatekeeping benefits to the "worthy" is more important than caring for those in need have been able to destroy or cripple or block all the systems that would provide them.

I feel guilty about how terrible the timing is and that he's not moving on to something better. If I thought it would make a difference, I'd be happy to wait a little longer. But there's no reason to think it would, and days have had a way of extending into weeks and months, and that would not end well.

The whole thing just sucks and I feel bad about it and I wish things were different. I also recognize the necessity if it, because there's a whole host of things I'm not going to get into that I would be even more unhappy about were things to continue on as they are. And then there's stuff like the fact that I feel eager to get our space and our privacy back, but I feel bad about feeling good about that, but should I? Ugh.

I guess that's all there really is to say, is that it sucks and I wish things were different.
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