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Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving. Mine was fine. Greg and… - The Mad Schemes of Dr. Tectonic [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Beemer

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[Nov. 24th, 2005|10:34 pm]
Beemer
Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving.

Mine was fine. Greg and Jerry went off to Ft. Collins to visit Greg's dad, and I went to my dad's, and we missed him, true, but there were 14 adults and two teenagers and a half-dozen kids and two babies in the house, and really, it wasn't too bad. One of my step-mom's siblings ordered us a dinner from the grocery store, so nobody had to cook.

After dinner, I took my grandmother home and sat with her for a while. She worries about her memory since she had a mini-stroke a while back, but she still remembers more history and events than I can, even if she does sometime forget words and lose her train of thought.

The waves of sorrow have mostly ebbed. Tomorrow is the funeral, and I expect I'll cry again then, but I'm starting to feel normalish again. Life, as has been remarked upon a number of occasions, continues on...
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: thedragonweaver
2005-11-24 10:13 pm (UTC)
Especially with lots of kidlings running about. That always seems to work.
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[User Picture]From: tdjohnsn
2005-11-24 10:45 pm (UTC)
I'm glad the day went okay. You have been in my thoughts a lot the last few days.

(This is where I insert an uplifting thought that occured to me, and a comment that makes you smile, and quick piece of wisdom thrown in for good measure.)

bluck. I'm really bad at this. I have none of the above on tap.

I wish I could make things better, but I know I can't. I can't stop greiving for my cat, how can I help someone with the loss of an actual human being? I'm probably really late in figuring this out, but that is why death sucks to much isn't it? There is nothing anyone can do to make it better.

If you don't usually, sleep in the middle for awhile. Actual living people who love you seems to be the thing that helps the most, and you seem quite blessed in that regard, in partners and in family and in friends.

Take care,
Troy
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2005-11-25 06:33 am (UTC)
You made me smile anyway. =)

Well, nobody can fix death, but having friends and family to share the experiences with has done a lot for making me feel better about it.

I actually switched to the middle on Monday. Good call. And I am definitely blessed.

Thanks, Troy. I appreciate your thoughts.
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[User Picture]From: dpolicar
2005-11-25 07:52 am (UTC)
It may reassure your grandmother to know that, contrary to popular belief, memory actually improves with age. The access time gets longer, which is why it seems to get worse, but the ability to recall the desired fact _eventually_ increases.

Of course, that doesn't take strokes into account. But you don't need to mention that part.

My thoughts stay with you. My family just gathered for Thanksgiving, and I always remember my dad when that happens. The sense of loss remains, and that's a good thing... but the sadness fades, and that's a good thing too. As you say, life continues, and the sorrow becomes one more ingredient in the soup.
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2005-11-26 08:20 am (UTC)
She won't believe me, but I'll try to tell her. (She also doesn't believe me when I explain that I get the exact same memory errors she does, she just gets them more often.)

Thanks, Dave.
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[User Picture]From: pupdadco
2005-11-26 09:38 pm (UTC)
Sorry to hear about your dad...I came across your blog through friend of a friend etc...I lost my mom a few years ago, something that you get over then you don't. I did notice the comment about your grandmother, and it reminded me of something that I did after my mom's passing. I started interviewing my older relatives to put together a family tree/history. It was amazing how much information about generations before me turned up just by asking my mom's siblings and such. It was also healing for the other family members....just some thoughts for you. Good thoughts to you over the next few days....
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[User Picture]From: dr_tectonic
2005-11-27 10:41 pm (UTC)
Thanks, I appreciate the thoughts. I'm doing pretty well now, but I'm sure there will be times when the sorrow comes back. We did a lot of story sharing during the week. I'm hoping to exchange collections of pictures and stuff at Christmas...
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